Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
