I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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