farters have to be the big spoon...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
