im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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