how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
