Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize