WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
