watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize