So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
