guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have fence marks all over my body
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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