we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
