No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
