im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
