the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
