I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
