she woke up with a sticky ear
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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