TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
