I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
