think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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