hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
