shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
