Where is the hickey?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
