You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
we should paint friendship bongs
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