I wish i was in the wii world.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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