I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
