Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
