you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
