jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
