Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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