And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
