i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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