he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
