You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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