Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
