Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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