my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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