adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
