Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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