There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
