My room smells like vodka and shame
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
