I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
