but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
