she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I want a musical about memes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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