I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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