she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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