escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I love you. Go after that dick
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
