"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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