I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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