hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
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