I need help removing her.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
