U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize