Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
