well you can't waste a boner
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
