Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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