you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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