Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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