and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
