Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
