he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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